Sharla left a note on the counter, from when she left the house and Al and Mags were still a vibrant (living) pair.. nice to come home to Al alive, as well as Al dead.. thank you Sharla.
"Staying with the girls was great fun. Al is a young soul in an old body. The way she catches that frisbee and gives it a good shake and leaps in the air and gambols around the beach is really fun to watch. You could see she much prefers the beach to the forest, which was just a straight walk for her. Life definately got more interesting after Christmas Day and the frisbee's arrival. PERFECT PRESENT SANTA!! She's so trusting and loving - except when medication comes into play!
MAGGIE: Now that girl is nuts! (see?, says Al from the grave) But in a very endearing way. That wubba is a godsend for tiring her out on the beach. We had a few wrestles over it, but I almost always won.
Dark spots on the carpet. Sorry about these but Maggie found a pond somewhere and would get filthy and then come and lie on the carpet. Most of it has come out through vaccuuming, but not all. Still, you know not to get cream carpet when you replace it! :) And she's adament about what time she wants her humans to get up, isn't she?"
Ands that's how it goes.
Sweet dreams everybody xxx
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Belated farewell and thank you
It is my first night home in Arthurs Seat after five weeks travelling in Asia with Simon. I am feeling a bit lost in this beautiful (and spacious!) familiar space without my constant companion of sixteen-odd years - Al died on January 10, 2010.
Clair, Pete and Big Pete (Peter senior) buried Al up the top of the garden, near the horses, and near the space I have reserved for my writing studio, should I ever get around to building one. After the teensy tiny living and working spaces of everyone in Vietnam, Singapore and Bali, I feel ridiculous even wishing for such a space of my own, when our house is so generous... but still I see it and imagine long quiet days working away with only my rich internal world for company. I always sort of pictured/felt that Al would be buried up there - my moon - and so the room/studio would be my moon room.
I lay in bed trying to sleep before feeling deeply grateful and warmed that Al's body, at least, still remains at home with me. Wherever she has been, while I have known her, I have always felt wrapped in the warmth of ... the closest physicality I can reach for is a hug, but a 'spiritual hug'... sort of heart and soul and body, even if our bodies are not touching. I feel that still, with her here.
While I was away I missed both the girls but felt happy and comfortable that they were happy and comfortable with their beautiful babysitters. First Sharla took over the reins at home and sent me regular and hilarious reports of the good times and shenanigans the three of them were getting up to in our absence. Then Deb and her family took the dogs to their home in Mt Martha, and Al was smothered in love by 18 month old Levi, and Maggie had a partner in toddler-style madness with Eve. Clair brought the dogs home to the loving and chaotic Hill family home, Lorna and Pete with their chooks and two Labradors are already playing host to Clair Peter Luka and Finn... they kindly took on my two pilgrims as well. Clair excels in the mother role and to a large degree the dogs just accept her and adopt her as mother without a second thought. Finn and Maggie wrestled for Finn's toys and balls (which he very generously shared) and Luka bossed them all around, as best he could to such a distracted tribe.
A million billion thanks and I owe you a huge one to Clair who took over the difficult process of realising Al was on her last legs (with one broken, and nary a complaint from her gentle soul)... and needing to make the big decision. I had felt Al fading, and much more often in pain the month before we left, and had been contemplating the best course of action for her. The main trouble was that between her pain, or more likely despite it, Al was still loving her life and the world she lived in. She was really happy - not just 'okay' but actually, smilingly, enjoying herself. Clair told me (over the phone to Bali) that despite not being able to get up without great strain and pain on the last day and night, Al still took herself outside to the toilet, and wagged her happy 'it's my lovely family' special round tail wag whenever Clair approached. Clair consulted her vet and my vet; and knowing that I had seen it coming and had already talked it over with her, my vet gave Clair advice to let Al go. From that moment on Al had a joyful eating experience of all forbidden fruits and special treats (notably chocolate, which Clair thoughtfully gave Al even to the last moment so she munched on a piece of her favourite food as the green medicine was injected and she drifted off to sleep one last time.
That final decision and final moment was the only part of Al's life That I couldn't contemplate. For the past six months, imagining it has melted me... so unless I had the time and place for a cry, my mind skipped away from the thing I knew I needed to prepare for. Thank you thank you thank you Clair for taking on my greatest fear and burden, and delivering Al's last moments with every bit of love and tenderness that I would. Al died as she lived, safe and happy (and licking her chops) in a loving mother's arms.
Clair, Pete and Big Pete (Peter senior) buried Al up the top of the garden, near the horses, and near the space I have reserved for my writing studio, should I ever get around to building one. After the teensy tiny living and working spaces of everyone in Vietnam, Singapore and Bali, I feel ridiculous even wishing for such a space of my own, when our house is so generous... but still I see it and imagine long quiet days working away with only my rich internal world for company. I always sort of pictured/felt that Al would be buried up there - my moon - and so the room/studio would be my moon room.
I lay in bed trying to sleep before feeling deeply grateful and warmed that Al's body, at least, still remains at home with me. Wherever she has been, while I have known her, I have always felt wrapped in the warmth of ... the closest physicality I can reach for is a hug, but a 'spiritual hug'... sort of heart and soul and body, even if our bodies are not touching. I feel that still, with her here.
While I was away I missed both the girls but felt happy and comfortable that they were happy and comfortable with their beautiful babysitters. First Sharla took over the reins at home and sent me regular and hilarious reports of the good times and shenanigans the three of them were getting up to in our absence. Then Deb and her family took the dogs to their home in Mt Martha, and Al was smothered in love by 18 month old Levi, and Maggie had a partner in toddler-style madness with Eve. Clair brought the dogs home to the loving and chaotic Hill family home, Lorna and Pete with their chooks and two Labradors are already playing host to Clair Peter Luka and Finn... they kindly took on my two pilgrims as well. Clair excels in the mother role and to a large degree the dogs just accept her and adopt her as mother without a second thought. Finn and Maggie wrestled for Finn's toys and balls (which he very generously shared) and Luka bossed them all around, as best he could to such a distracted tribe.
A million billion thanks and I owe you a huge one to Clair who took over the difficult process of realising Al was on her last legs (with one broken, and nary a complaint from her gentle soul)... and needing to make the big decision. I had felt Al fading, and much more often in pain the month before we left, and had been contemplating the best course of action for her. The main trouble was that between her pain, or more likely despite it, Al was still loving her life and the world she lived in. She was really happy - not just 'okay' but actually, smilingly, enjoying herself. Clair told me (over the phone to Bali) that despite not being able to get up without great strain and pain on the last day and night, Al still took herself outside to the toilet, and wagged her happy 'it's my lovely family' special round tail wag whenever Clair approached. Clair consulted her vet and my vet; and knowing that I had seen it coming and had already talked it over with her, my vet gave Clair advice to let Al go. From that moment on Al had a joyful eating experience of all forbidden fruits and special treats (notably chocolate, which Clair thoughtfully gave Al even to the last moment so she munched on a piece of her favourite food as the green medicine was injected and she drifted off to sleep one last time.
That final decision and final moment was the only part of Al's life That I couldn't contemplate. For the past six months, imagining it has melted me... so unless I had the time and place for a cry, my mind skipped away from the thing I knew I needed to prepare for. Thank you thank you thank you Clair for taking on my greatest fear and burden, and delivering Al's last moments with every bit of love and tenderness that I would. Al died as she lived, safe and happy (and licking her chops) in a loving mother's arms.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
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